Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell Of Being Cut To Pieces.

Hey you all know ol' Jack is no historian. But I've seen enough shit with my own two peeps to kind of get a feel for the lay of the land, if you know what I mean. I don't know if you have heard, but over in Afghanistan it is all basically going to shit, and it has been for the last couple of years. We all know why; took our eyes off the ball, should never have went to Iraq, relied too much on airstrikes, blah, blah, blah. I mean, what is ultimately the endgame there? We are never going to get Bin Laden, he is going to just die of old age or kidney failure sometime. Besides, he is probably on the border in Pakistan anyway. And that is definitely not a hornets nest we will ever conceive of sticking our peens into. Poppy seed production and harvest was at the highest level ever in 2007. This year, because of drought, farmers being persuaded (for now) to grow alternative crops, and most of those crops being pot, are reasons why the harvest might be marginally lower. The drug money fuel the insurgency, which isn't really an insurgency, because would you want Brazilian troops running all over the good ol' US? Some would be OK, probably. But I digress. What are we, and NATO, gonna do? What is the best case scenario? Total victory and a western style Democracy, the ultimate Bill Kristol neocon wet dream? Cause that sure ain't happening (that is only for Iraq, Iran, and ahem, other gulf states) The Taliban is coming, and they are not going to be stopped. A surge will not work, just like it didn't in Iraq. (more like a successful ethnic cleanse of the Sunni's is what happened.) So, what should we do?
Give it to 'em. Let them have it. No, not just withdraw with our tails between our legs and be all pussy about it, not like that. Talk to them, tell them that OBL is just some motherfucking rich asshole from Saudi Arabia who is just going to cause them more grief. Play up the fact that from '79 to '89 we were like, BFF's, remember how cool that was? We helped kick out Ivan from their country and all that shit. Reagan was so fucking awesome, no blowback thought there, right? John Rambo even came by to help out. Remind them of that. Cause you know what, we just are never going to win a war of attrition with these guys. Be all like, "We kicked your ass, you guys are starting to beat ours, can't we work this shit out?" Have Karzai retire to whatever luxury flat he was living at in London, with all that fine British 'tang, and stay there. 'Cause he can't leave the capitol city of Kabul right now, in fact, very few people in leadership can. NATO (ie; us) needs to find the strongest, biggest warlord there and just bribe the shit out of him to strong arm a few other warlords and secretly get to a table somewhere. Yeah, losing those Buddhist giant statues sucked, but you know what, who really gives a fuck? Shit happens, you don't see a lot of old-timey Indian artifacts erected around here anymore, right? Tell them that we will continue to fund them, AS long as it is not funding to blow up buildings in the states, which they did not do any ways. In regards to all the women that will go back to being chattel if we leave, what are they now? Six years later they still can't go to school, and if they do, their whole family dies. Along with the teacher, too. What did we expect, miniskirts and bikinis? OK, I did, but HELLO, only Burqas and bad fiction about kites. Vietnam obviously wasn't the next domino, it turned out all right with us leaving, and so will Afghanistan.
So really, just let it go. There is no more talk of a Northern Alliance, or of finding that leader of the Taliban, Omar Epps or whatever. Our best option, and this sucks because, like everyone else, I have a wall sized poster of The tearful Eagle over the Towers, is just to punt. Make deals and GTFO. I know, I know, we were all fucking dumbasses six years ago, we won't make deals with terrorists and all that Tom Clancy shit. Fuck pride. How do you want it? With some honor or finally when NATO says "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home."? And if someone else starts shit somewhere else, we will go there for six years and accomplish fuck all, too. But it is time to just let it be. Declare victory, try to set up the most moderate Talibani government, and leave.